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Make Note of It

   I am Sherry.
   Born 91'.

   Senior [class of 09'].

   Future army recruit,
   68 whiskey.

   A fantastic dweller,
   of this newwave nightmare.

   I'm my only hope,
   to surviving this world sane.


Daily Thrust

I take money from young children, delagate the soda machine, vend grilled morsels, and handle copeous amounts of cash. Well, I never lied, I peacefully rephrased into the utmost positive phrase that near borderlines " untruth ".

Mm, I really need to stop attracting people that are completely unavailable.
Does that reflect on me?
Lordy I hope not!

$95 richer today.
1 agrument poorer. 


Naughty !

I'm naturally timid, but for a first I recognized that I can defy the public logic.
To unjustly free me from guilt, or to underline my life's obscure moral behavior in the face of an irrational life? 
I know.
I know.
I know.
I'm about ready to leap away from a stilting similarity in partners, lovers. 
The fact that they'd always been one, always just that.

Perspective, nothing has to be as it'd been before.
I like that.


You, Me, and MEPS

Nurse Practitioner. Hopefully, maybe so. 
I've basically signed up for the army. All that's left is some last paper work,
getting my father's signature, and being carted off to Albany.
Military Entrance Processing Stations.
This Thursday. How fun.

My week has gone at little like this.
Monday, paperwork. Tuesday, 2 and 1/2 hour journey to my father's.
Yeah, a five hour drive today in total.
Then Wednesday night I get to sleep in some hotel near the MEPS place.
Thursday is the day of. [ I'm offically a member of, though with a 14 month delay. ]
Friday I work.


Holy Day

   Sunday is the holy day. Remember.
   Random thought while watching various movies/tv shows.
   Not very original, but implied almost sex with, you know.
   The man of many names, usually consisting of three letters.
   Man vs. Himself [ She & Herself ]

    It wasn't a proper morning after, not when intense bouts of smoke were released into the the pleasantly warmed atmosphere, serving to make the backdrop intimate by hazing over, glazing over, the details of you and I even as we continue our extensive discussion with warped plastic margarita glasses in hand, set to dispense some fruity tropical blend.

      A sense of familiarity came with this, though I'd never experienced the object or their beholder prior. 

      Cigars we found to be a shared delight. While I can not know my own appeal as I stick the obtrusively large tobacco filled roll between my waiting lips to meet my eager breath, I knew his. The presentation of his body and the allowance of pleasure to be construed on his features, all of it I could feel as well as mirror in my eyes, splendid how sensation sees fit to spill over. 

      He wears a smile which seemed ill fit to a knowledgeable glance. 

            " Am I so obvious? " 
            " Terribly so. "

      Whispers which strum at stinging air waves. This distance holds mist and memory, a melancholy feel weighs down upon my touch, and I gather the cure as I reach for his arm. He holds my palm and tugs, managing to grasp me close. I am unbalanced, this hope of event has me dizzy. I peer upwards, his face a mess of conflict, then glance back at the material bending to my clenched hands. Probing fingers catch my worry, my gaze is led back to his. 

            " Time for me to go. "

      The previous high caught on negative symptoms. The captivating view is soured.

            " Why always now? "

      For an instant he finds it in himself to harvest some long lost remorse.

            " You made this decision. "

      He withdraws. With his shadow goes everything, my consciousness is fleeting, but I readily give it up to escape the brazen pure white landscape.

- - - - -

      On crisp linen a young girl watches afternoon sitcoms in the quiet while the bag besides her leg fills with heated liquid, the catheter at work. The monitors show her health to be up most, though the woman she lay beside remains unknowingly in a coma like state. She tightens her hold on the other woman's hand as it tenses for a moment, a heart rate increased, leaving less time for silence in regular intervals. 

      The girl gives it only a moment's attention before continuing to listlessly stare at the screen. It is Sunday after all and, as with every past one this year, her mother becomes a bit more responsive. Though whether it be to the outside world or her own mental tomb, the child can not tell.


Mall Rat

       It was the standard err, I looked at curves. 
       I'm prey to my instinct. 
       Public sight scenery is a different spectacal for me, all girlgirlgirls. Showcasing false tans on defined legs, but it's the naturally pale limbs of a dark haired beauty strolling un-hesitantly through throngs of negatively influenced crowds that has me at a stand still. She flashes me only a glimmer of distrust.


 Doesn't matter. I'm under her skin. Only in the smallest of means, only if.
        I shake my sunlit curls and let laughs out quick and silent. 

Your standard mall expose'.



Comparison of the depths,
my lines outweigh hers,
but there's a tear 
between those thighs
that is a constant,
and the tug amongst
all our differences
that keeps us here,
she anxiously clutches
at a robust object,
the very same 
I cradle in mine,
feeling of felt returns
making the realization clear
this is all a little post mortem.

She's me as she's you.
Not really, she is my eight-ish year old self.
Got to be high strung when it comes to sexual abuse.



Little hands, blonde hair, blue eyes.
A wide field, an array of faces yet unkissed by the sun.
Bathed in blankets, peach skin yields a quiet sheen.
Within a world, ours, she is fresh comfort.
I memorize the drop of blood upon the tile.
Little hands, blonde hair, blue eyes.
The soft drips of an unhatched dream.

And I'll always love you for what you'll never be for the world, 
but for what you'll always be for me, everytime.

Rel Lfe

What does that mean?
It cascaded down upon me with enough heat to turn me ruby red and the pressure necessary to sweep me off my feet.
I'm only seventeen, 
so why do I have until August's end to choose which branch I am entering?
That's the pressure, it leaked into my brain.
That is why I've talked to several recruiters and and and
the army did what I sterotyped it as.

Join now!1!1!!!!1

Yeah. Well, that's what the boss at that station did anyways, 
the one out of schenectady if anyone is listening,
that's pressure rising. 
Oh well.
I got a 96 on my ASVAB,
so I can do what I want at least.
Whatever that is.

Medical Specialist?
Maybe, maybe, maybe.

I'm geared towards being a pastry chef,
entering my senior year this 08' sept,
and 2nd year of votec culinary.

And yes I am joining, most probably
the United States Army.

Trading in my checks for camo,
it's enough to make anyone miss the age old black/white.

Clients for patients.
Bread for blood.

I am a fool.
But a proud one.

    "  The Things you can't Sweat Out "
      "So the thing left already?" The term was lightened by the delight that was so apparent in Drake's tone. He braced the couch's back as he hopped over and landed next to Josh, wincing as something embedded itself in it's thigh. 

      Josh frowned, signaling his frustration by bouncing his knees, and turned to the boy to his left. "How did you know that I ran off my desires?" 

      A shrug. "Your not exactly quiet when your running and the same goes for when your watching Oprah." Josh gasped, his scandalized voice rising. "That is so not-! What are you doing?"  Wide eyed and open mouthed, Josh looked ridiculous as he watched Drake apply Mindy's new lip gloss. 

      Drake's lips rubbed over one another and 'popped' in appreciation to the coating, he then leaned back into the cushions to stick the tube in his front pocket, before glancing at the other teen, snickering at his expression. "Don't you just love the smell of apricots, Josh?" His voice was set to mock Mindy's own, though with plenty of sarcasm. 

      That pair of eyes expanded further, eyebrows shot up, wrinkles gathered at his forehead, and his mouth snapped shut. His face returned to normal after a brief intermission. "She tried to seduce me with that!" Questioning gaze, a single plucked-to-perfection brow raised. 
      Josh's near shrieking, no where near indoor appropriate voice resumed. "Her lips have touched that, that... " He lost steam as Drake tentatively flicked his tongue out over his lips. Approving of the taste he again rubbed on more of the gloss. 

      Low irritating whine. "Drake, she'd kill me if she knew I let you use her lip stuff." Knees working up and down, feet pedaling the floor, and a rise out of Drake. "She's not going to find out if you don't say anything!" He glanced at Josh's moving legs and huffed. "I thought you ran off your wants or whatever?"

      Nimble, callused fingers, both a product of his musical ambitions, were placed on Josh's thigh which simply pranced a faster pace against his palm. The boy scooted to his right and away from the hand. One frowned at the television, wishing he'd put on something. While the other frowned at his roommate, wishing he'd never picked up the lip solution.

      Drake didn't handle guilt well. Standing up, yanking the item out of his jeans, and tossing the said item at Josh, hadn't helped. "I do one thing that the bitch might not like and your going to ignore me, for like what, the rest of our lives'?" He knew he wasn't being fair but he might as well go all or nothing when it came to feuding.

      Josh sputtered, pushing himself off the furniture to stand. "Really? Because I can remember doing plenty of things which Mindy wouldn't have approved of!" As he hand gestured wildly, trying to sell his argument as his opponent stilled and quieted. "Like what?" And his side was shot down. "Well... well, I don't care if you upset her." Silence cued in. "Just not all the time."

      He started the short trip to their joint bedroom, fully intent on locking the door behind him, knowing that Josh will relent, over analyze the fight, and probably jump to apologize later. Some days making another person compensate, namely Josh, puts him at ease.

      "Drake. Stop it. Your being a jerk right now over nothing." He held in his hand the very thing that emphasized just how much they walked on eggshells around each other in this not quite physical love triangle. Neither boy really cared for apricots at this point, but Drake walked over to him anyways. "I care about you and Mindy. Why is that so hard to do?"

      Touch can be categorized in so many ways and usually anytime they came in contact it was easy, casual, but it wasn't that right now. As Drake brushed past the offering and skirted his fingers over the larger boy's waist he realized the differences between this partner and all the others. He was aiming to please, but he had no idea how. 

      An arm was slung around him, a hand grabbed his shirt and clamped onto the material, he was very much pulled to Josh's chest. His limbs wrapped around Josh, head resting on his body, it was easy, but in no way casual. He was attentive and excited, nervous, drained. It was enticing. 
      Drake actually had to peer up to see a face that was far more calm then usual, yet the eyes had formed crevices as the mouth smiled it's giddy disposition.

      When their lips pressed against one another for a first time introduction they applied no pressure, Josh had pulled away shaken however. A smile coerced them to try again. And again. The most innocent slip of tongue. Kisses too soft to satisfy but even this barely there contact,a hand on the small of his back or fingers traveling up and down his clothed belly, was too much friction too soon.

      Drawing back, Josh breathed loudly, not nearly as well versed in this as Drake, and the moment was no longer a stuck spot. Sound crept in, and Josh took the fingers that had held Drake to him, spreading out the hand to show the lip gloss that had been encased in his fist.

      No one had any problem with throwing out the thing. Which lasted about as long as Josh's mustache. The apricot smell however lingered in odd places around the house for weeks to come.